I encourage everyone to keep their standards high. Never settle! At least when it comes to a long-term relationship
Most people know I have standards, and it’s true. I’m basically holding out my long-term commitment (my heart) until I find the right girl.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll have some short-term fun no problem. But even then I have my standards that makes it challenging to find someone.
What are those standards? Good question. I put a little thought into it. Basically, I want to find the trifecta of sexy for the long-term. Just the first and third for the short-term.
By short term, of course, I mean hanging out or whatever with no assumption of long-term. It may turn into long-term, but it takes a little long longer because we have to know each other really well.
One is simply personality. The personality needs to jive with mine. That’s a gimmie for anyone, but I’ll add more details. I mean, yes, she has to be happy and enthusiastic, obviously. Some uniquities I enjoy are less common. For one, she’s got to be fun. I should be able to poke fun, and she needs to return it. Talking to her has to be fun, too. See the next section.
However, having a personality that “jives” with mine does not mean that she’ll go along with everything. There’s got to be some give and take.
Frankly, I love when a woman can put me in my place. Because if I’m dating you, I’ll listen to you. We don’t need a long dramatic convo, but just tell me to knock it the hell out. Now I may not have always been able to follow such instructions, but I can control myself nowadays.
Along with putting me in my place, I love it when a woman is herself and is fairly stubborn. I work with someone at my job who checks me into her preferences when I get out of hand, and I’m secretly attracted to her. Not in a big way, but I find it pretty hot. We have an interesting professional relationship (no, not my colleague).
But stubbornness is hot, at least to a point. Once it starts encroaching on my life, it’s not. Basically, the little “corrections” should be mostly out of jest, but she’s probably right, so I give in nearly immediately.
The second in the trifecta is intellect. This one is solely the biggest one. If a lady has the brains, we laugh more and get each other better. Rarely will minds be on the same wavelength before being married for 30 years, but I can only imagine how awesome that would be. This second one makes the first one go from personalities jiving to personalities doing a whole 10 dance (for my non-dance readers, a 10 dance refers to all 10 international ballroom dances, including the jive).
Three is simple. The third part is simply attraction. Yes. The third part of the trifecta of sexy is…. well, sexiness. Physical attraction combined with the right characteristics to make my mind wonder about her.She should be active. She should have awesome eyes. That’s important for me. Naturally, eyes like mine are the coolest, because they’re not common, but also because I’m a total narcissist.
Rarely do all these things come together.
The trifecta of sexy is not common, so I’m just waiting until I find it again. I’ve found it twice. Once when I was younger, and once when I was older.
One time I found it, but she had the second attribute very strongly. My brain is odd because it simply doesn’t forget intellectual information. So this woman was sexy and absolutely stimulated my mind like no one else. Not forgetting, my mind held on for a long time. I shouldn’t have, but it was a long time ago and after a coule years, I let go.
If I had to do it again, I would focus on the primal side of attraction, and not the intellectual side so I wouldn’t be stuck on her for so long. It was weird. Intellectually compatible like no one else, after only a month, I thought I was in love (because she was stuck in my head, and because it was summer and I didn’t have enough to do). Now I’m focusing on the short-term. If I ever find a woman who has the trifecta again, I’ll no doubt just enjoy it whilst I keep my mind on the short term.
This is a song about dating: