When I am with people, I have of mind, usually totally. This is a good thing sometimes, and it’s bad sometimes too.
It’s good because I can focus on solving a problem. It’s food because I do don’t just process what is needed, but I make sure it looks good in my mind. For instance, I found a slight discrepancy even filing the Sales tax return for April. For one item, there were Minneapolis sales that were not in Hennepin County.
Kind of odd of you think about it.
Apparently I found an error in the computer process that’s been going on since 2005.
I notice things because when I’m working on something, I’m not thinking about what I’m doing after work; I’m thinking about all the attributes of the work and making sure they all agree.
Presence can be good, but it can also be bad. Then I go on a first date, I always have an attention distraction. That way, I don’t focus on the lady with whom I am.
It can also be bad because it can make me oblivious. For instance, I was just at a big party with my friend, and I totally didn’t notice my other friend until he pointed her out to me.
One would think that I would keep my eyes open, but I can easily get lost in what I’m doing. I like people, and everything turns out well in the end, which makes me seemingly not care. I care, but certain things in life are beyond my control. Other people are so complex that I don’t try to have any control over them. I just let life do the steering.
I’ve learned from my own experience. Someone once tried to make a play, and I think my response was unexpected. Therefore, I don’t try to control someone.
On that note, I do try to influence things, of course. If I haven’t talked to someone for a long time and would like to, I might send them a note.
I believe in the natural order of things. Life will let me meet the right friends at the right time. Long past are my days of trying – I’m just myself, and that gives others a fair choice. That was my flaw in the past: I tried, and I had an undefined self.
I love who I am.
Justin